It's Over

It is officially over as of last Friday. I had my d&c. I am no longer pregnant. It is hard. It is really hard. Nobody ever prepared me for the emotional difficulty involved in this. I hate it. I hope and pray that we never have to go through this again. The feelings are indescribable.

Belly Shots Catch-Up

6weeks 7weeks
I need to quit eating!!! But oh my goodness, I am hungry! I have gained 10 (!!) whole pounds since we started trying to get preggo again. I did this with Carter and Olivia too. I guess my body just has to catch up. I gained until 20 weeks with them and then did not gain another ounce until they were born at 35 weeks. I hope that is the way it is this time too because if I continue to gain at this rate I will surely be the size of a WHALE!!

The Growing Belly

While I wish I had a better excuse, I think my belly is growing only secondary to my calorie consumption! I cannot say that my belly is actually growing because of baby, but it is growing because I am so ravenous!! I can however (kinda) blame it on the size of my ovaries...they are only the size of softballs...each one of them that is. That could account for the roundness that does not usually exist, but I am sticking with the fact that I am just eating way too much!! Oh well. I'm pregnant right?! Eating for two!! Anyway, I finally have gotten around to posting my 5 week belly-shot...just in time to take my 6 week belly-shot. Maybe by this time next week I will have that one posted!! I will do my best.

YeeHaw!

We are having ONE precious baby! We are so excited and relieved that we are not having... several. Everything looks perfect and right on track with our baby. Our prayers were answered. Now we pray that this pregnancy continues to progress healthily and happily. We are now entitled to a huge sigh of relief!

The Numbers Are In!

And tell us NOTHING! I am so incredibly impatient! Hcg today is 4727, p4 310 and e2 is 4000 and something. Guess what all that means...a big fat nothing...other than the fact that I am pregnant (thank you God). We will find out on Wednesday how many (i am guessing 1...just for the record!). I am still feeling great, just hungry as all get out! I seriously cannot get enough food. Real food, not snack food. I want meat (strange for me) and things that are really salty...disgustingly salty. My bedtime snack (which usually never exists) is pickles and root beer. Ummmm. Sounds good, huh? I think I will indulge in a little while! Cottage cheese sounds good too! Off to raid the fridge!

Raging Hormones

I am so irritated right now. On Wednesday, my Hcg was 680 so I was to return for bld work Friday, today. So I go in for my 11am appt and wait all day for the nurse to call back and tell me that all of their pregnancy tests were messed up and they did not get results for ANYBODY!! That is right...I had my bld drawn and waited all day for nothing. Grrrr, I am highly irritated as this is the second time this week that this has happened. I was expecting my ultrasound to be on Monday, but now I have to return for bld work on Monday and an ultrasound on Wednesday. I am going to see if I can get the ultrasound done Tuesday. I can't wait any more. I am impatient and hormonal!!!

BFP!!

We are pregnant! I had my beta drawn Friday the 15th and it came back at 139! It was 132 at this time with Carter and Olivia. I have another beta tomorrow and likely an u/s late this week or early next week! We are very excited! I have been having some OHSS symptoms and I am very tired (lazy) lately. Those are my only symptoms...oh and being STARVING ALL THE TIME!!! Here is my 4 week belly pic with OHSS at 120# and my preg tests! (there is a comparison pic from before stims and preg. A much flatter belly than now!)

The 2ww begins!

the dreaded tww has begun. We had our final IUI on Friday! Man, how I forgot how painful it was to ovulate 30000 eggs! Just kidding, there were only about 30. 11 mature but estrogen only backs up about half of those. Symptoms since the tww began include extreme moodiness....wait...i have had that symptom since birth!! Ah, well. It exists, might I say it is a little worse?? Still having just TONS of abdominal pain and BLOATING. I swear my belly is bigger now than it was when I was 6 months preggo with the kids. AAhhhhgg. I feel like if I was thrown overboard I would float on the surface for days!! Not a fun feeling. I am still having the twinges of pain that scream out from my ovaries. They are still pretty ticked at me right now, and they are not gonna let me forget about it anytime soon. We hope we are preggo. We are really going to be in a pickle if more than 3 eggs fertilized. We just hope and pray that they did not. We are trying to rest easy by leaving it up to God. Trusting that he will not give us more than we can handle gets us through this...most of the time. Sometimes I think we might need to send Him a memo.

IUI #1 Today

with 67.5 MILLION sperm. The fertility problems obviously have nothing to do with my husband! We had a long talk with the nurse before the IUI, debating on whether or not to go through with it at all this time. I have 11 eggs that could have possibly become mature, but my estradiol levels do not match up with 11. At 1200 units, it actually matches up with about 6 mature eggs. So we compared this cycle to last cycle and discovered that we are in EXACTLY the same place as we were 2 years ago, and my Hcg "trigger" shot was cut by half in an attempt to prevent higher order multiples. So mathematically, based on last cycles #'s we have less of a chance of getting preggo with twins than we did last time. Last time I gave myself the full 10000units of Hcg "trigger". Here's to hoping and praying that all goes well. I am EXTREMELY bloated feeling. Very uncomfortable feeling. I remember this from last time now. It will pass in about 10 weeks. Eh, I'll survive. So we go back for IUI #2 tomorrow @ 0800 for an insemination at @1030! Wish us luck and we will say our prayers.

"You have an army in there!?!?!"

So, we started Goanl-F ($1300)-- to be given SQ every evening on July 21, 2008. The dosage was 150IU. Done. I can do that with ease. Day 4 follie check shows lots of growth, e2 still low, but continue with same dose until Monday. Well, Dr Gill was there for my follie check on Monday and he exclaimed "wow, you have an army in there!?!" What are we gonna do about this?! Possible IVF depending on e2. Or cycle will have to be cancelled. BOOHOOO! I was so devestated because we knew we could not afford IVF. Each cycle runs between 12-15 THOUSAND (!) dollars. Um, not gonna happen any time soon, much less this cycle. Anyway, we got the report that my e2 was actually too low (193) and another drug needed to be added. So I flew off to the Woodlands to get the other necessary drug to raise my estradiol levels (Menopur $700). Went back in this morning for bld work to make sure it is working...and it is e2 is 516 (!) up from 193 yesterday! Things look as if they might be falling in line with our previous cycle which resulted so beautifully in Carter and Olivia! Fingers crossed that things go so smoothly again! We are excited and SCARED!

Wow! Progress!

Well I haven't updated in quite a while, but things have really taken a positive turn! FINALLY! I went to Dr. Melhem a few weeks ago for a yearly well-woman exam. He discovered that my cervix was sealed shut due to scar tissue from a previous biopsy. On June 17th I had that surgically opened. During the procedure he did a hysteroscopy and discovered that I have a HOLE in my uterus! WTF! He is not sure what it is from, but it is there. He says it will not affect future fertility or ability to carry babies. Good news. Went to Dr. Gill to have my levels checked and sure enough, my estrogen is very ow so another month of BC was ordered. Once completed, I was certain my cycle was not going to start when lo and behold it did!!! So yesterday, July 21, 2008 I went to have my levels drawn and my ovaries checked out. All looks great so stims were started last night at 5pm. 150IU of Gonal-F. Next appt is July 24 at 11am. Exciting things are happening, but I am so scared. So is Marcus. We are not sure what he future holds. We do not have the luxury of feeling confident that we will conceive a singleton. We have to worry about twins or more. Very frightening, but very exiting at the same time.

Frustration!

Ooooohhh! I am so frustrated! I still have not started my cycle...yes, after 2 months of Birth Control! I am so highly irritated with this crap! I guess if it hasn't started by friday, I will go get more bld work. ::sigh::

Round 2

Of birth control that is. I am so bummed, but my bloodwork showed that my estrogen was STILL too low for a cycle to start. Hopefully this cycle will do the trick. There must be a reason for this delay...

Here We Go Again

So the journey begins...again. We have made the decision to begin trying to get preggo again. We are a little nervous yet excited at the same time. We just hope that things go as smoothly as they seemed to last time. I seem to be having some trouble getting my cycle started this time so that we can officially begin "trying". I gave my cycle 6 weeks to come back naturally after I weaned Carter and Olivia. It never returned. So, I just finished 1 month of birth control in an attempt to "make" it start and it still has decided to remain in hiding. We will see what happens over the weekend and then return to the Dr for blood wrok on Monday. I hope things get going...if you know what I mean. I don't want to do another month of birth control...